3 HUGE DISTRACTIONS THAT WILL KEEP YOU FROM DOING FULFILLING WORK

There are some pervading lies that the personal development industry sells as being key to upping your business, your income, your influence or your success that I want to shed some light on.

It is more important than ever, in this noisy culture that wants to tell us the formula for ‘success’, that we sift through the nonsense and tune into our own intuition and desires.

I want to share three things that I see as huge distractions that are keeping us from doing work that is fulfilling and meaningful.

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1) TRACKING NUMBERS / FOLLOWERS

Please hear this. Hitting 1K or 5K or 100K followers on instagram means jack shit when it comes to fulfilment. You do not need to have a big following on social media to build a sustainable, thriving business, service or community. Social media didn’t exist as a medium for businesses to use until just a few years ago so and even though it can be an effective space for sharing your offerings - the numbers game is a dangerous one.

One of my mentors has a thriving, six figure business doing what she absolutely loves with an 8K following on instagram. She has built her business through writing regularly to email subscribers and developing online courses to teach the stuff that she knows. She has harnessed the truth of quality over quantity and has been showing up consistently, building trust with the people she wants to serve. Her work is fulfilling and sustainable and she is not distracted by follower counting.

Big numbers does not equal ‘success’ or fulfilment. It is a façade that the ego wants to lure us into that we really need to do away with. If you’ve been struggling with feeling legitimate because of a small following, or you think you couldn’t possibly sell what you love or your ideas because you don’t have enough “reach” – it’s simply not true.


2) ENDLESS EDUCATION

This is a common myth that a lot of women buy into - a mindset that desperately needs some updating.

I see this all the time. We have ideas, passions, ideas bubbling up and instead of trying things out or dipping our toes out into the water of sharing those ideas, we spend our time trying to legitimise ourselves by going to every event, every training, every course, researching ever other similar business or idea instead of knuckling down and doing the work (this does not apply if you want to be a surgeon - please get a qualification for that).

Here’s the thing. You could have all the letters after your name and all the qualifications in the world and STILL - putting yourself out there to do the work you know will fulfil you will feel stretchy and uncomfortable. It will because it is precious to you and letting it out into the world will feel vulnerable.

This mindset of always feeling like we need to do more training and education is an easy one to slip into because we are programmed to try and keep ourselves safe from vulnerability and staying behind research or doing more and more qualifications is a safer space to occupy than putting yourself out there.

The danger is that often all of this endless education distracts us from the stuff we know we’d love to just be out there doing. It swallows up all our time and energy and ends up leaving us feeling burned out and unable to take action on the thing we longed to do in the first place. You do not need a business degree, a marketing course or a fancy qualification to dip your toe in, to launch that business or to talk about something you feel passionately about.


3) WAITING FOR APPROVAL

I am all for research. I love getting into the details of things, figuring out how things work, what the best methods are, what would truly resonate etc. When we have ideas that we’d like to put out into the world, what can happen is that we hang back and wait for someone else to give us permission; to tell us that we’re adequate or allowed.

Allowing the opinions or approval of others to shape our ideas rather than tuning into our own intuition and trusting ourselves is a huge distraction from getting on with the work that we most want to do and is a slippery slope towards people pleasing and losing our own voice.

It is really tempting, especially when we are thinking of beginning something new, or contemplating putting our ideas or products or whatever out into the world to consult all areas. We ask people in our family, we ask the whole of Instagram, we ask the man at the post office – we endlessly gather opinions. Often, what we are looking for is either validation that our ideas are good or for someone to tell us they are shit so we can back away and not have to sit in the potential discomfort of birthing something that feels important to us. Neither of these responses are going to propel us into meaningful work.

What is important is that you are excited and drawn to the ‘what’ of what you want to do, that you have information about the ‘how’ from your target market (not your auntie or your brother who will likely not be your target market) and that you cultivate a sense of inner trust in yourself and your own ideas that you can make decisions based on.

Ok, so tell me - are you seeing anything here that may be distracting you from getting on with the things you’d love to do?

It’s totally normal and human and there’s no shame to be scattered with this stuff. Bringing attention to it is the first step - seeing where you might be hiding or distracted is KEY to moving forwards.

The next step is learning some incredible tools for moving out of these hiding or distracting ways and facing your fears. I have an AWESOME free ‘Facing Fear' resource that you can grab below and you can sign up to come to my FREE Facing Fear Masterclass on the 16th of October!

You can also now get your hands on my ‘A Courageous Woman’ Workbook!

This workbook is a resource for women who are ready to figure out what lights them up and then move towards it bravely. The exercises, reflections and knowledge in it will give you incredible insight, motivation and freedom. Consider it an injection of courage and a gentle, loving kick up the arse from me!


IN THE WORKBOOK YOU’LL GET:

  • PROMPTS AND REFLECTIONS TO HELP YOU GET CLARITY ON THE THINGS THAT REALLY LIGHT YOU UP AND THE DIRECTION YOU’D LIKE TO TAKE YOUR LIFE.

  • NEW WAYS OF LOOKING AT SELF-BELIEF THAT FEEL GOOD, ARE ROOTED IN RESEARCH AND WILL HELP YOU TAKE MASSIVE ACTION.

  • TIPS TO FIGURE OUT COMMUNICATION METHODS THAT WILL HELP YOU FEEL GROUNDED SO YOU CAN CONNECT WITH CUSTOMERS & CLIENTS IN A WAY THAT IS TRUE TO YOU.

A COURAGEOUS WOMAN WORKBOOK IS FOR YOU IF:

  • You need help figuring out what really lights you up.

  • You want to identify what is next for you in this season of life.

  • You are ready to let go of self-doubt, over-thinking, and comparison and get on with your own thing.

  • You want to find ways to connect and communicate your ideas, services or products in a way that feels true to you.

  • You know you have ideas and dreams that you want to see fulfilled but need a push to get going.

Mel Wiggins2 Comments