Purpose & Strength

I've had an interesting few weeks of conversations and investment in some personal development.  Usually that term gives me a bit of the shudders - it can sound a bit like navel-gazing - not something I have a lot of time for, but in reality it has been timely and really inspiring. Introspection, reflection & self-examination: not skills that I would say I have mastered, but I know they are important for growth, so I've been trying to get better at them - understanding my make-up a bit better; how I interact, how I learn, how I communicate, what makes me tick & come alive etc.  Pretty important stuff to get to grips with, I reckon.

A few weeks ago I logged into the #blogtacular twitter chat (every Wednesday, 9pm BST - not to be missed!) and the topic for the week was:

"Are you doing the work you want to be known for?"  

It was a pretty significant chat for me and the gals at Blogtacular know how to pose questions that are really thought-provoking.  I love the interaction and encouragement that goes on in those chats - if it were real life we would be walking out the pub door at the end high-fiving each other wildly.

I guess when I thought about responding to that question, I was working out the reality of that not only in a blog context but in a whole-life context.  For me, that's the bottom line.  This old blog here is a creative outlet for me amidst a pretty serious day job (that I love), but it's not a separate part of me - it's an extension of me.  I try to write and engage in things on the blogosphere that align with my whole self.  That means tackling issues that are important to me (I'm not a fashion-blogger, but I think ethical style is real important), tapping into my creative side by making things (I'm not a craft-blogger, but I think making stuff and being creative is life-giving) and trying to capture life for us in a way that is real and honest here in this space (I'm not a mummy-blogger, but I think motherhood is the biggest lesson of my life so I talk about it here).

For me, it's about championing the good, the underdog, the creative and the connections we all share.

If I could be known for that, I'd be happy.  It feels good to be true to yourself in all extensions, right?

Then this week, I had the chance to get some coaching from my friend Abbey - who runs her own coaching company out of the States.  Abbey introduced me to the Gallup Strengthsfinder last year and it has been a bit of a revelation.  I know there are a lot of personality assessments out there and lots of them are really good, but I was really drawn to the 'Strengths' concept because it uses positive psychology to "show people that our greatest potential resides in utilising our innate strengths" rather than using that energy to try and fix the parts of our make up that doesn't measure up.

Abbey was over in NI so I nabbed her for an afternoon of coaching with my work team.  We had all taken the assessment before hand so Abbey worked through our results individually and then brought us together as a team to look at how our strengths can work together - it was really practical, really inspiring and really freeing.

Both of these encounters have left me feeling energised and encouraged that I'm on the right track.  More so, it's given me a renewed vigour and confidence that the things I invest in, personally and professionally are a good fit for me.

I am really glad I've been spending some time on this - and would so encourage you to do the same (start with the Strengthsfinder assessment - trust!).  I think when we know our strongest abilities and find a purpose in life that fits those skills well, we all are on our way to being fully truly alive.

Fresh Finds Friday - International Women's Day

In honour of International Women's Day this Sunday, I thought I would do a little post to highlight some of my favourite fierce & empowering female finds lately as well as share some thoughts on what IWD means to me this year...

I spent all of yesterday celebrating IWD with an amazing group of women from all over the world that are part of the 'Women's World' group at my work.  We gathered together to listen to speeches from women who have overcome and achieved; we sang, line-danced (!) and ate homemade food from loads of different cultures of the world (PORTUGUESE CUSTARD TARTS!). So many of the women connected to this group arrived in the UK with huge obstacles to face - language, isolation, financial worries, separation from their families - but they have bravely built lives here now; lives that are blossoming, thriving and lives that now look outwards at how they can help others and create a more inclusive community here, where they now call home.  It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

As much as I love the well known champions of women's rights and gender equality - the ones that get quoted, archived and noted so often - I can't help but be more in awe of the everyday heroines of women's empowerment - the ones that I know, that I saw in action yesterday.

The women (and men) that push other women forward into opportunities without threat or comparison, that mentor, that walk ahead and carve out paths to make them more accessible for girls that will walk behind.  The women that volunteer, nurture, share and give.  The women that don't seek the credit or attention, that sacrifice, that work like hell to provide and know the value of true investment in their local communities.  The women that know they have their own issues, so they know how to treat people gently.  Women that speak out the truth - even if their voice shakes; that lead; that love well.  These are the women I want to be like, the women I admire and honour.

I hope you get to take some time this weekend to reflect on the 'everyday-incredible' females in your life.  They are all too often overlooked for the shiny and new.

Ah, the sisterhood!  It always gets me all worked up and preachy!

Now for some girl-power links:

+  If I was in London this weekend, I would DEFINITELY be heading to the Women of the World Festival at the Southbank Centre - what an amazing line up of events, exhibitions and talks.  Some year, I'll make it to this but if you are London-side and you are planning on heading over, don't forget to hit up Davina & Hannah of Seeds & Stitches craft stall on Sunday! Them girls know how to craft; it's sure to be a treat!  I've just noticed they've also posted some GREAT ideas on how to celebrate IWD on their blog!

On a more local note....

+  This weekend we're heading out to watch a viewing of 'Half the Sky' - a documentary based on the book that highlights the plight of women around the world fighting bravely to change the story of inequality, poverty, abuse and exploitation.  You can come too!  Saturday evening, 7.30pm at Blick Studios, Malone Road, Belfast.  Watch the trailer below:

+ Super cool Belfast sisters, Rebecca & Ruth have launched the brand new apparel brand 'Lines & Current'.  With a new webshop up and running, they are curating classic items with clean lines & a boho twist (those sunglasses, though!).  To boot, they are regularly partnering with charities that are doing great work and this month 10% of their proceeds are going to No More Traffik!

Photo by Ben Connolly for Lines & Current

+  Finally - I've been loving keeping up with The Koko Story ever since I saw the 'Is That How You Define Me?' video last year (awesome spoken word - do watch!).  Koko is run by Meg Cannon who uses film and other creative ways to empower girls & young women and lift the lid on the issues they face.  They are launching a new film campaign this weekend called #ivegotyourback - stay tuned on their twitter for that.

Are you doing anything special to mark IWD?  I'd love to hear your plans, or any other thoughts/links!

Fancy Pants & Feminism

I’d like to start this post by asking that both my dad and my big brother make the mature decision to not read on.  I’m about to talk about lingerie and girl stuff that I’d rather you pretend I was not involved in.

Now that those guys are gone we can move on…

Ooooh, is there anything better than getting new pants?  I mean the British kind.  Underwear.  Undies.  Knickers.  I get really excited about having new pants.  Don’t pretend you don’t love it too.

I’m going to be a bridesmaid for one of my besties this year and I’m SO excited.  When we went to go bridesmaid dress shopping, one of my other besties (also a bridesmaid) was quite afronted that I had neither shaved my legs or wore matching underwear and bra for the excursion. 

I’ll admit, I should have re-thought the former of her issues as there was a small setback of static cling with some of the more chiffon-y dresses we tried on, but really?  Matching undies?  I don’t have any.  Unless a black M&S t-shirt bra and random unknown origin black undies count?  (They don’t by the way - she made quite clear).

I’ve been thinking a little bit lately about sexy underwear and lingerie and the reasons why us ladies often feel it’s important that we have this stuff in our clothing repertoire.

 

Dad & Tim, if you are still reading, now you should really shut it down. 

When I was getting married my friends bought me all kinds of beautifully sexy things.  Things I wasn’t even sure how to put on (come on…the stockings, suspenders, corsets - these things should come with diagrams and risk assessments)!  It felt like a right of passage at the time, but I guess my thoughts have been more focused on how sexualised our world is lately (which is the root of a lot of big problems, i.e. sex trafficking etc), and how the powers-that-try-to-be use the likes of the lingerie industry to peg us women into something to be oggled at and lusted over.  Is there a good reason as to why we should dress up to be more visually pleasing to our partners? 

I guess I’m questioning whether wearing sexy underwear or lingerie (whether that’s in a marriage context or not) is a feminist issue? 

Sure, there is the argument that lots of women feel empowered by this kind of attire, more confident, powerful - and some that will say that they wear it to appeal to their mens strong visual appetite, but I wonder if maybe some of these reasons are more often than not just another bunch of lies that we have grown used to going along with?  Do men feel the same need to present themselves in this sexy way when it comes to intimacy etc?

I understand this is a loaded topic, and to be honest I don’t have loads of well thought through opinions on this, I just wanted to get a few questions down while they were buzzing around my head.  What do you think? Is this another way for society to keep us locked in the sexual objectification game, or am I over-thinking it?